My AS Journey

Done with my 1st Monthly dose. Already here in Olongapo with my parents. Masaya na na mimiss si Mark. But i really need this environment. I was able to dream. Yun nga lang mas hirap pag umaga and i don't know why. Im trying the Wahls protocol for autoimmune and im hoping it'll work for me.

I am literally out of words regarding my disease. Grabe kinuha niya buhay ko for a long time. When will I be able to do the things that I want and need to do. Nakaka frustrate. Today is my 5th and last loading dose for Scapho before shifting to monthly maintenance and I am still hopeful that I will feel relief with this. As usual grabe and fatigue kahit nakahiga kalang at humihinga, ramdam mo ang pagod as if may naka dagan sa dibdib mo. After this shot, kailangan ko mag pa laboratory and have appointments with my doctors. Bakit ganito. Please Lord help me. Minsan tutulo nalang talaga luha ko. Everyday I pray na mag work saken tong gamot na to. Please heal my body.

A lot is going on in my mind. I really can' think well and I feel exhausted even upon waking up. Been talking to my friends and they suggested that I go home with mama and papa to get peace of mind. Grabe ang frustrations. Maybe expected more. Im really upset.

Done with my 4th loading dose and the side effects are unbearable. I think I am much worst and the fatigue this brings me is really killing me. I've been brushing on the reviews again and was tying to get reassurance that it will get better after my loading dose. Oh Lord, please help me. Di ko na kaya to.

I have skipped logging my days here as I will just be posting the same rants. I've been thinking a lot lately. Andameng sumasagi sa isip ko. I think I've reached the end of the line. Gusto ko na maging masaya. I've been in so much agony already. One thing is for sure, wala na kayong iisipin about me 😊. Salamat sa lahat. I've experienced the wonders of this world already. Madame nakong narating din. Marami na akong pinag daanan and baka nga tapos ko na misyon ko. I don't know. Tingin ko nagawa ko na maging inspiration sa madameng tao. Sa isip ko, may part pa din na gustong lumaban, pero parang hindi ko na kaya. Salamat sa mga naging bahagi ng buhay ko.  Please forgive me.

Today is my 3rd shot for Scapho. I am getting anxious as I am yet feel difference from my first 2 shots. Please give me even the slightest relief. Napa praning ako kasi this is the only biologics that my doctor could give me. I think this is a wating game. Ive read a lot to be patient with it. You will feel once it starts working but I feel that I am running out of time. Oh Lord please help me.  Mark gave my my 3rd shot and it was smooth, ansaya ko hoping that by tomorrow kahit konti mararadaman ko ang effect.